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August 30, 2010

So I haven’t been blogging for two reasons:

1) i move in two days to start at Cornish College of the Arts (all my possessions are in black bags and boxes)

2) I went on vacation

Over the past six years I have lost 4 family members whom I was close to, and loved very much ( two of them more recently then others). They were all related, and 2 of them in particular were my favorite relatives on my mothers side. Now, we had this tradition as a kid of going to the ocean (long beach, WA) every year we would all stay there for the weekend and it was the one time that we would always see everyone at once (my moms family is not all that big, but because of kids, and stuff its hard to get everyone together). After one of my relatives died, we stopped going.

This is the first time in 6 years I went back. The town, looks exactly like I remember; five blocks long with tiny touristy shops, the bakery where my grandpa first made me try a ruben sandwich, marshalls museum ( a store that has EVERYTHING you’d never need) and the carousel. It was an odd experience going back to this place that I had spent so much of my childhood in. I had all of these flashbacks from when I was little, I could hear my grandparents talking…. it was so surreal. I felt like I was little again, like I was walking along all these ghosts of my past. I remember riding on the carousel, I could tell you exactly what I bought from marhsalls.  Long Beach, has always and will always be my favorite place in the world.

And the day before we left, we spread ashes.

There is nothing more real then that moment I had. Every little stupid thing that happens in you’re life is pointless, all of the drama and pettiness and everything else… insignificant. There is nothing more real, or nothing that makes you feel more alive or dead then watching your loved ones pass into the sea.

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